My alter ego: Mr. Warren

Today I "taught" my first lesson in the person of Mr. Warren. It went well, and I am so glad. Mr Thomas Shown, my university supervisor was even there to christen me for my maiden voyage into the sea of education. It was only a simple day of explaining how the classroom would work, procedures and the course outline. He sat me down afterwards to say that he had witnessed a good job and even swelled my pride with a statement to the effect that it seemed I was "a natural teacher and that my instincts worked very well for me."I'm sure if I dwelled on this statement very long I would find myself in a bad way trying to figure out why I had not planned anything for some class in the near future. But then again if I am to go anywhere with my life I am going to have to learn to take a complement well, not just letting it grow into something its not. I feel that I have over the years I have learned to snuff my own confidence in the presence (or in dialogue) of others to give off some false sense of humility, but if I am honest with myself I   live, in a some situations, for the approval of others.
I must own my own gifts. Just as my Pastor Tyler Jones has been teaching about for the past couple of weeks, we all have our own place in the body of Christ. Some are pastors, deacons, volunteers, caretakers, adopters, and student teachers in a Exploring Technology Systems class. I pray for true humility like that of Christ

 And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” mark 9:35

Pastor Tyler says often how the elders(Pastors) in our church will not ask anyone at our church to do anything that they would not do themselves, in the example of Christ they are to be considered with the least of all. Take Christ as your ultimate example, God became man. Uncreated became created flesh. What kind of humility is that? Irrational unexplainable humility in love for us. Really it makes no sense at all but that is why it is the single most unavoidable fact in history. The question that is most asked in life , "what is my purpose? or why am I here? meaning anyone?" however you phrase it is answered in Gods act of love and your response to it. Worship. And there you go, purpose.

Life: Getting Up at 5:15

Starting student teaching has been a pleasant experience thus far. I am usually in bed by 10:00 and up by 5:15. The sleeping schedule of the standard teacher I guess. I will be spending the next four months of my life at East Millbrook Middle School it will a challenging time of my life of teaching, planning, and writing papers to obtain my teaching licensure in the state of North Carolina. I do not know what I will end up doing with the rest of my life, but that is such a complex statement, "the rest of my life."I mean who would have the audacity to claim that they knew what they were going to do for the rest of their lives? I mean I say something really broad and vague like "teach" but really I'm sure I will end up doing many things with my life, and I am confident about that.

I have always struggled with feeling a uneasiness about my own future: How I will make a living, a future family, providing, jobs, what will happen to me, what could happen to me; what I will do with my life. I realize now what I have been doing. 

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble - Matthew 6:34 ESV

Tomorrow morning I do not have bus duty and I am so thankful for that. Also we are having an early release, tomorrow is going to be an excellent day.  

Back in Raleigh

What a lazy day today: slept in late, ate an egg sandwich, watched a movie of my favorite childhood novel The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and went to see The Town at the $1.50 theatre. Whew, I am amazed at how lazy I was! At least I ended my night fairly productive listened to a sermon by Mark Driscoll and worked on my tunes.

Sitting alone in my apartment all day was taxing for me. I didn't anticipate the immediate onset of loneliness but it sure enough found me out quickly. It was just shortly after 3 it was gloomy outside and the thought ran through my head about how alone I was. Thinking about it now I am appalled at myself, I had not been in Raleigh for 24 hours yet! Its amazing how quickly we lose sight of the truth of our own situation. We look for opportunities to throw pity-parties for ourselves and put ourselves down. Oh how I wish we wouldn't it makes life so much more depressing than it need be. This blatantly shows our doubt in God's sovereignty over our lives let alone his presence in our lives. It wasn't until later in the evening that I realized I was letting my mind wander and start to place my source for hope and joy on things that would not last at all. It is true that we are comunal beings and we need community with other people but we cannot let that be our solution for things. I am a broken record, a band that plays one song: we need more of Jesus.

I am getting excited about my songs that I am writing. Especially ones that I have already written on guitar but not written percussion parts for. I am so excited to be able to share these songs soon (with anyone who would listen). I am most excited about playing these songs live, I have acquired two "surprises" that I will be performing with live whenever I can get up enough songs to play comfortably. But seriously this makes any day better.