When did God turn the Power off?

Sometimes I ask the question "Where did the power of God and his gospel go?" I mean when we read scripture it is very clear that when God gives us a task to do he gives us tools to do it with. Gifts, tools, ministry what ever you want to call it, the truth is we have them. But there is a problem... it seems like the power is out. Now why would that be the case? Did God flick his eternal supply of power from ON to OFF? It seems like the same man who composed our greatest theological scriptures also walked in a power of the Spirit that would now be condemned in our culture. I don't really understand why this topic of Spirit empowered action is of such controversy. Most that would agree would still say that people might take something out of context but isn't everything in scripture taken out of context by someone or other? We choose not to make those issues controversial but if someone wants to pray and flay hands on someone to be healed (in accordance with James 5:14) then it becomes divisive and makes people too uncomfortable.
Why don't we simply have faith? Faith that Christ is our savior and he said that

"18 In the morning, as he was returning to the city, he became hungry. 19 And seeing a fig tree by the wayside, he went to it and found nothing on it but only leaves. And he said to it, “May no fruit ever come from you again!” And the fig tree withered at once.

20 When the disciples saw it, they marveled, saying, “How did the fig tree wither at once?” 21 And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. 22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”" - Matt. 21 : 18-22

When I read the Bible it continues to point to the power of Christ over the things that we face. We are called to live a different life after we are saved by grace than before we believe. Are we not called to something greater? Something more beautiful? "Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us." Why are we so easily satisfied? Why do we seek so earnestly our own correctness without ever walking with whom that we worship? I am convinced that we are stuck in head knowledge but heart knowledge comes from relationship, and that must include talking directly, sitting at the feat of our Father who gives all good things. For

"16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
- Ephesians 3: 16-19


I have resolved to pray and expect God to be bigger than who you or I think he is. 

Time.

Lord the more I try
I feel like I might die
This city living is gettin me down

When I look up at night
I need an open sky
This city living is gettin me down

Looking for a ol'dirt road
to carry me back to where I was made to grow
never was so hard to find as now
trying to see the stars at night
without the stain of a city light
This city living has got me down

Oh no I think I'm wastin
I want more than a town car paycheck
This city living is gettin me down

Everything around me falling
It aint a land or air thats calling
Or this city living thats a getting me down

A need a new skin to crawl in
need to get me a brand new heartbeat
Then city living wont get me down

Looking for a ol'dirt road
to carry me back to where I was made to grow
never was so hard to find as now
looking up at the stars at night
but I aint lookin to them for light
Now this city living aint a gettin me down

prayer for strength and peace.

I know that you are with me always but I really need you now. James says those that draw near to you, you in turn draw near to them. I've always thought that I needed to call out your name so you would come to me when your word clearly says I am to come to you. This is the inverse of the way I think, let it no longer be so. Allow me the grace that James wrote about just beforehand, that I might have the strength to pierce the veil that I seem to think is still there. You stand before me pointing to the rent curtain saying, "Come." In the same light of your words rushing upon my face I am also told "Go." You say "go but never leave." I am to go into the world around me doing the work that I must for a man will eat his bread from the sweat of his brow, yes we still are under the curse and man is still held accountable for holding the title of provider. Today I am teaching, not about you scriptures your holy words in pen, about bridges. I wish to do so not from the love of the material or a desire to be looked upon as knowledgeable but as son imitates his father I hope to imitate Christ, glorifying you God in all that I do. Even now as I sit waiting anxious I still pray. I whisper "strength" and "peace" and the familiar " be still" under my breath as I await the wave of anxiety to pass over me and leave me for now I am meeting open seas. A breath more till the waves crest. Today I go not on my own accord Father, you have lead me here.

But when I became a man I gave up childish ways.

Barely two days into this week and it has been a whirlwind. My students have been wild, undirectable and my softness of heart is starting to fade. The softness of heart is not my affection for the children but simply my gulible nature to believe in the innocence that I assume to each child. This innocence exists in small quantaties most of the students I interact with have most likely had similar exposure to the brokeness of this world as I. This fact alone is a source of my softness of heart but I am learning more and more that to communicate effectively you have to speak in a way that is understanable. Children in middle school are much more self concious than I could have ever imagined. I can barely even remember middle school with the exception of the books I read, games I played and teachers I had from that period of education.

After a moments more of thought I now remeber a moment in middle school that I will never forget, a moment that will forever stay with me. My mother is the youngest of three siblings born behind the eldest brothers and the middle sister, my aunt Suzanne. Aunt Suzanne has always been a determined person. First to act, first to vocalize she was always the one in our family that got things done. She has worked as a high school trigonometry teacher, auto saleswoman, and now is an assistant principle at a elementary school. Needless to say I respect her oppinion greatly. In middle school I wasen't the most appealing 13 year old there ever was, honestly I was a bit over weight and I needed braces desprately. It wasen't until my aunt caught wind of my self esteem issues that she sternly sat me down and told me that "when you walk don't look at the ground" which is what I commonly did to avoid eye contact with others, she said something to the effect of "when you can hold your head up and look another person in the eyes it instantly causes a mutual respect between you and them, you've got nothing to be ashamed of."

Now looking  at the children of today I see their total disrespect of elders and each other at least back in my time my teachers could put me in my place. I don't see what specifically has caused this laughable level of humiltiy on the childrens part but I do see its effect. Kids are questioning themselves at such an early age, deep hard questions about themselves. They find their answers in media and their friends there is little wisdom to be found in a 7th grader. I hope we can be there when they ask who they are and what they have to live for. Its a broken world out there and only Jesus is big enough to fix it.

Teaching but mostly learning

Student teaching is fine but I can't get it out of my mind that I'm headed to SouthEastern next year. I am looking so forward to the learning, to the hours spent bombarding my mind with new thoughts new knowledge.

Teaching beforehand has given me a most interesting perspective I now realize the frustration that my6 teachers feel, and the pressure that comes with presenting information as the truth to fresh minds. Although the minds that will join me in grad school will not be totally fresh but seasoned after twenty odd years of education of different sorts, but the subject matter to which my professors will be presenting me with is much more complicated than simple calculations or the result of a reaction, it will be understanding ourselves and others and our relation to our infinate Creator. Serious business. That has to be so much more challenging, the weight that those professors and thealogians must carry into their lecture halls, that today they are attempting to influence a persons view of themselves and God on a radical level. I know that scripture says that teachers and preachers are to be judged more harshly because of the affluence but still they must feel it even pressing on them now. As I now rise to direct students in the art of sawing a block of pine into a delicate CO2 car I feel just an ounce of  responsibility in comparison to what those men must wear in tons.

This morning would you meet me in a classroom full of your children, would you fill me to the brim with compassion to wear it on my chest always?  Would you saturate these walls with redemption? Marinate our hearts in your love till the salts of grace cling to our resurrected hearts in a manner only the author of life could orchestrate. May we truly know our relation to you as daughters and sons? Not just of a imperfect father and mother but of an unfailing true father who yearns for his children and bride to join him in joy, infinite joy.

I sit and wait for wisdom to come, what a sluggard am I? Why am I not out pursuing knowledge? Why am I not seeking to find it among the wilds of the word? For “whoever despises the word brings condemnation on himself, but he who reveres the commandment will be rewarded.” Why not walk with the wise? Why do I linger with the fools? “The ear that listens to life giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Whoever ignores instruction despises himself but the who listens to reproof gains intelligence. The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.“ – Proverbs 15: 31-33

My alter ego: Mr. Warren

Today I "taught" my first lesson in the person of Mr. Warren. It went well, and I am so glad. Mr Thomas Shown, my university supervisor was even there to christen me for my maiden voyage into the sea of education. It was only a simple day of explaining how the classroom would work, procedures and the course outline. He sat me down afterwards to say that he had witnessed a good job and even swelled my pride with a statement to the effect that it seemed I was "a natural teacher and that my instincts worked very well for me."I'm sure if I dwelled on this statement very long I would find myself in a bad way trying to figure out why I had not planned anything for some class in the near future. But then again if I am to go anywhere with my life I am going to have to learn to take a complement well, not just letting it grow into something its not. I feel that I have over the years I have learned to snuff my own confidence in the presence (or in dialogue) of others to give off some false sense of humility, but if I am honest with myself I   live, in a some situations, for the approval of others.
I must own my own gifts. Just as my Pastor Tyler Jones has been teaching about for the past couple of weeks, we all have our own place in the body of Christ. Some are pastors, deacons, volunteers, caretakers, adopters, and student teachers in a Exploring Technology Systems class. I pray for true humility like that of Christ

 And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” mark 9:35

Pastor Tyler says often how the elders(Pastors) in our church will not ask anyone at our church to do anything that they would not do themselves, in the example of Christ they are to be considered with the least of all. Take Christ as your ultimate example, God became man. Uncreated became created flesh. What kind of humility is that? Irrational unexplainable humility in love for us. Really it makes no sense at all but that is why it is the single most unavoidable fact in history. The question that is most asked in life , "what is my purpose? or why am I here? meaning anyone?" however you phrase it is answered in Gods act of love and your response to it. Worship. And there you go, purpose.