But when I became a man I gave up childish ways.

Barely two days into this week and it has been a whirlwind. My students have been wild, undirectable and my softness of heart is starting to fade. The softness of heart is not my affection for the children but simply my gulible nature to believe in the innocence that I assume to each child. This innocence exists in small quantaties most of the students I interact with have most likely had similar exposure to the brokeness of this world as I. This fact alone is a source of my softness of heart but I am learning more and more that to communicate effectively you have to speak in a way that is understanable. Children in middle school are much more self concious than I could have ever imagined. I can barely even remember middle school with the exception of the books I read, games I played and teachers I had from that period of education.

After a moments more of thought I now remeber a moment in middle school that I will never forget, a moment that will forever stay with me. My mother is the youngest of three siblings born behind the eldest brothers and the middle sister, my aunt Suzanne. Aunt Suzanne has always been a determined person. First to act, first to vocalize she was always the one in our family that got things done. She has worked as a high school trigonometry teacher, auto saleswoman, and now is an assistant principle at a elementary school. Needless to say I respect her oppinion greatly. In middle school I wasen't the most appealing 13 year old there ever was, honestly I was a bit over weight and I needed braces desprately. It wasen't until my aunt caught wind of my self esteem issues that she sternly sat me down and told me that "when you walk don't look at the ground" which is what I commonly did to avoid eye contact with others, she said something to the effect of "when you can hold your head up and look another person in the eyes it instantly causes a mutual respect between you and them, you've got nothing to be ashamed of."

Now looking  at the children of today I see their total disrespect of elders and each other at least back in my time my teachers could put me in my place. I don't see what specifically has caused this laughable level of humiltiy on the childrens part but I do see its effect. Kids are questioning themselves at such an early age, deep hard questions about themselves. They find their answers in media and their friends there is little wisdom to be found in a 7th grader. I hope we can be there when they ask who they are and what they have to live for. Its a broken world out there and only Jesus is big enough to fix it.